Tag Archives: Crazy English

You Are a Businessman

A New York business dropped a dollar into the cup of a man selling pencils and hurriedly stepped aboard the subway train. On second thought, he stepped back off the train, walked over to the beggar and took several pencils from the cup. Apologetically, he explained that in his haste he had neglected to pick up his pencils and hoped the man wouldn’t be upset with him. “After all,” he said, “you are a businessman just like myself. You have merchandise to sell and it’s fairly priced.” Then he caught the next train.

At a social function a few months later, a neatly dressed salesman stepped up to the businessman and introduced himself. “You probably don’t remember me and I don’t know you name, but I will never forget you. You are the man who gave back my self-respect. I was a “beggar” selling pencils until you came along and told me I was a businessman.”

Charlie Chaplin

Nearly everybody knows Charlie Chaplin, a world-famous comic actor. People everywhere have laughed at Charlie Chaplin’s films until tears ran down their faces. From his very first appearance they know what will happen. The little man with the little black moustache, wide-open eyes, round black hat and shoes too large for this feet, will struggle through snowstorms, and fall from windows. He’ll fight men who are twice his size, and fall in love with women, who hardly notice him, and try to hug them.

The poor man that Charlie Chaplin played in hundreds of films makes all kinds of stupid mistakes. He is always in trouble, but he never gives up. He dreams of becoming a great man.

Even people who don’t understand English can enjoy Chaplin’s films, because they are mostly silent. It isn’t what he says that makes people laugh. His comedy does not depend on words. It depends on little actions which mean the same thing to people all over the world.

Chaplin raises his thick eyebrows or rolls his eyes. He hides behind a fat lady or under a table to escape from his enemies. He dresses well and pretends to be a rich and important man. It is all so hopeless and impossible that he makes us laugh. This is the secret of Chaplin’s huge success.

The Assassination of Lincoln

April 14, 1865 is an unforgettable date in US history. It is the date that Abraham Lincoln was shot.

The night of April14, the president and his wife were attending the opening of a new play at Ford’s Theater in Washington D. C.

Near this theater lived a 25-year-old actor named John Wikes Booth. Booth was strongly against the North even though he hadn’t personally fought for the South during the Civil War. As the play came to intermission, Booth entered the theater. He walked slowly and quietly toward the door that led to the President’s box. He carefully looked around to located the guards who were supposed to be protecting the President. He was overjoyed to find the guards were not on duty because nobody would notice him. He quickly reached the door and began holding the gun in his pocket.

The theater was quiet. Suddenly a terrible noise interrupted the play. Everyone was shocked and looked up to where the sound had come from. Smoke was coming from the box where the Lincolns had been enjoying the play. Soldiers rushed in, but it was too late. The murderer had already jumped down from the box to the stage and hurriedly ran out of the theater.

Lincoln, one of the greatest American president, had been shot and died early the next morning.

Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson was inaugurated on March 4, 1801. He was the first president to take the oath of office in the nation’s permanent capital, Washington, D. C. Although Washington was  a new city it was already familiar to President Jefferson. In fact, Jefferson had helped plan the capital’s streets and public buildings. Besides being a Continue reading

How to Become an Astronaut

When the  space program first started, only military pilots became astronauts. Today, people of many different backgrounds become astronauts. All astronauts have college degrees in engineering or science. Astronauts also must be in good physical shape. During training, astronauts learn to live in an environment similar to the environment they will live in while on their space missions. Astronauts learn how to move in environments with little gravity.

They also learn how to survive in the ocean in case their spacecraft is stranded in the water when it lands.

Astronauts train in models of spacecraft. Movies of views that astronauts might see out of their windows are projected on screens in front of the model spacecraft. As astronauts train in the model, they see movies of takeoff and landing sites, and of the Earth, moon, and stars as they will appear in space.

Astronauts are trained as pilots or as mission specialists. The job of a pilot is to fly the spacecraft. A pilot of a spacecraft must have previous experience flying a jet plane. Mission specialists are trained scientists. A mission specialist carries out scientific research during the space flight. In addition to his or her search during the space flight. In addition to his or her special job, each crewmember must learn how to do at least one other crewmember’s job in order to ensure that the crew is safe during the flight.